An Army of 1 in 10

Ingredients

16 pieces of crow breast meat (no bones) (8 crows)
16 pieces of green pepper
16 cherry tomatoes
8 button mushrooms
8 ears of sweet corn
1 1/2 cups of Teriyaki sauce
1/2 cup melted butter
8 kabob skewers

Preparation

Cut each piece of crow in half and place in a covered bowl with the Teriyaki sauce over night. Clean and cut each ear of corn into 3 pieces. Cook in boiling salt water for 10 minutes. Alternately put corn (3 pieces), green peppers (3 pieces) and cherry tomatoes (3) along with 4 pieces of crow meat on each skewer. Use 1 mushroom to top each skewer. Brush with melted butter and place on preheated grill for about 4 minutes. Flip, butter again and place back on grill for another 4 minutes. Repeat one last time for a total of 12 minutes or until they appear done. Serves four adults.

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I found this joke over on ahrrrrr’s blog (NSFW) and while I’ve heard different versions of it, this is the best one yet:

A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to tell his father the news. “So, did you jump?” asked the father.

“Well, let me tell you what happened,” the son said. “We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane.

“Is that when you jumped?” asked his father.

“Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door.”

“Did you jump then?” asked his father.

“I’m getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my butt.

“So, did you jump?”

“No. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, ‘Are you gonna jump or not?’”

 

“I said, ‘No sir, I’m too scared.’” So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his dick. I swear, dad, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat!

He said, ‘Either you jump out that door, or I’m sticking this baby up your ass.’”

“So, did you jump?” asked his father.

“Well, a little, at first.”

The newest trailer for the Simpsons movie is available for download on the iTunes Store; and after watching it, I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be somewhat controversial… at least this scene will be:

Self-proclaimed Jedis Umada and Yunyun, better known as John Wilkinson and Charlotte Law … are calling for the UN to acknowlegde what has become Britain’s fourth largest ‘religion’ with 390,000 followers. Read more… (Daily Mail

I found this image somewhere, and though I’m sure it’s already been seen a million times, I found it amusing enough to share with you guys. Still, it does put the ridiculous arguments against lifting the ban into another perspective.

This week’s BotW is one of my personal favorite blogs — BlameBush!

The man behind this site is Liberal Larry who writes to warn the world of the many evils of King George II. In fact, the site’s tag line is, “Because Bush is to Blame for Everything,” and he certainly does blame Bush for everything.

As you can read on his “about” page, he majored in Greco-Roman Sexual Positions and Interpretive Clog Dancing at UC Berkeley and obtained his Masters in Gender Studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington where he ganized the school’s first Free Mumia March to a nearby Starbuck’s. He’s been teaching Midget Studies and the Kama Sutra 101 since early last year, and he takes special care to ensure that his students are not ignorant of the dangers of the Vast Right-Wing conspiracy.

He’s recently spoken out in defense of John Kerry in this riveting and enlightening post:

“You know education,” Sen. John Kerry warned students at Pasadena City College, “if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

In the blink of his stately eye, Kerry’s words were picked up by the digital pajama brigade and repeated ad nauseum by their stooges in the right-wing media, angering military families and veterans groups who are apparently too stupid to comprehend the subtle nuances of his brilliant oratory.

Thrice wounded on the battlefields of Vietnam, Sen. John Kerry would never dream of insulting the intelligence of our babykilling, genital-shocking, cattle razing, women-and-children-terrorizing troops. If they had any brains, they’d know that. Rather, he was simply mocking and ridiculing their Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. As someone who never obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree or played for the Yale Lacrosse team, Bush is completely incapable of leading troops into battle. The miserable quagmire that the illegal and immoral war has become is proof of that.

Read entire post

Of course, this blog is complete satire and hysterically funny. Liberal Larry doesn’t state what his true political beliefs are (are they even relevant for a humor site?), but he does a great job of acting like a left-wing lunatic who’s lost touch with reality. Regardless of whatever his personal beliefs may be, BlameBush! is a great read and is a frequent stop of mine.

BlameBush! wins this week’s Blog of the Week designation and my complete endorsement. Go forth and read this blog and laugh.

Click for the full image.

This is a funny video courtesy of Chocolate Cake City.

Download a copy for your iPod: iPod Version

Atrocities as defined by leftists. Read more… (Sacred Cow Burgers)

Today the North Pole issued new employment guidelines for Santa’s workshops, and it’s not good news for elves with alternative sexual orientations. Read more… (Fake Gay News)