An Army of 1 in 10

So I’m reading the wikipedia entry on the upcoming Transformers movie when I spot this little nugget of information:

Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox and Peter Cullen are signed on for sequels. Soundwave will be a new major character.
Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has said he plans for a sequel, though it will depend on the film’s box office success. The plot of the sequel is being planned, but Bay has not signed on to direct, saying “I’m trying to keep some leverage for the negotiations.”

Sweet!

The icy water stabbed at his lungs like a thousand needles as he sucked it in, his body’s futile attempt at finding the air it so desperately sought.  His head rolled upward toward the surface of the lake and he saw the bright sunlight grow dim as it filtered through the ice.  He wondered if clouds were passing in front of the sun as the world darkened around him, but dismissed the thought as inconsequential.  He was growing sleepy and allowed himself to slip into the twilight.

Now motionless, Casey drifted upward until he bumped against the ice.  His crimson jacket became starkly visible through the ice and he heard a faint voice shouting from an unimaginable distance as his consciousness ebbed away with each passing moment.  His eyes stared blankly at the silhouette above him frantically clawing at the barrier which separated them.  He felt strangely warm, as if the frigid waters had suddenly been heated.  Above, the shape was frantically pounding on the ice, the dull thud of each strike permeating his last moments of consciousness.  The darkness finally closed over his eyes and mind and he began to sink.

On the surface of the frozen lake, screams pierced through the wintry air.  A thirteen year-old boy’s face was flushed with exhaustion and determination as he hacked at the thick ice with his pocket knife, which was woefully inadequate for the job he was asking it to do.  Sweat ran down Shawn’s face in rivulets.  He could see Casey right there.  Casey was only three inches from him, and yet he may as well have been a mile away.  The knife blade snapped in half and Shawn screamed in frustration, a frenzied howl he prayed someone would hear.

On the shore, Casey’s younger brother raced toward the lake with a heavy rock.  The small boy could barely lift the stone, let alone carry it; yet he was managing to run at a full sprint with it.  He had run to find something to bash through the ice with the moment Shawn and him had spotted Casey’s red jacket several yards from the spot the ice had given way.  It was unusually cold this winter, so their mother had insisted that Casey and Leo wear their boots — the very boots which had doomed Casey.  These boots were designed to protect against severe weather and were much heavier than the shoes the boys were accustomed to wearing.  Casey’s skill at swimming was no match for the weight of these boots and a waterlogged winter jacket.   The twelve year-old had sunk very quickly, his attempts at swimming to the surface merely serving to propel him from the hole in the ice.

Leo ran across the ice, nearly slipping more than once on the slick surface.  Reaching Shawn, he  thrust the rock at his brother’s friend.  Shawn took it and began bashing it against the ice, ice which had moments before been unyielding and surrendering only a few chips.  The thud, thud of granite striking the frozen surface of the lake reverberated up the boy’s arms as the hole he’d started with his knife enlarged rapidly.  His plaintive sobs and Leo’s screams for help echoed across the park as Casey began to sink out of sight.  Suddenly, the rock broke through the ice, the frigid water splashed over Shawn and he watched as Casey’s face vanished into the murk.

Shawn lunged for the jacket he could still see and his fingertips traced over its surface as the water claimed its prize.  Casey sank out of sight.  Shawn grabbed the rock and began to enlarge the hole further.  Within moments, he’d made it large enough to pull someone through… or for someone to go in.  Making up his mind, he stripped off his shoes and jacket and jumped in.  Leo screamed.  A voice shouted.

Shawn took a deep breath and shoved himself into the icy depths.  He knew this lake.  He had been swimming in it his entire life and knew that it was not very deep at this spot.  He turned and looked upward to make sure he was still within reach of the hole before scanning the water for his friend.  Casey had drifted a few feet closer toward shore, his limp fingers trailing through the weeds that grew from the lake bottom.  A small fish nibbled curiously at Casey’s hair as it floated around his head.

Shawn swam toward his best friend and grabbed hold of a lifeless hand.  Struggling with all his might, he forced his way back to the hole in the ice and fought the increasingly desperate urge to inhale.  He only needed to make it a couple of more feet, but the weight of Casey’s body kept dragging him down.  His lungs screamed for air and his diaphragm began to pump his chest to force him to take a breath.  He knew he was about to share Casey’s fate and silently said a prayer for forgiveness.  Then he felt a hand grab his shirt and pull him from the water.

He gasped as his head broke the surface and sucked in the sweet air.  He wondered for a moment why he wasn’t sinking, then realized that he was being held by a man.  His second realization was that he still had a grip on Casey.

“Let me go!” Shawn shouted frantically.  “Help him!”  Shawn pulled Casey into view.

The man tried to pull Shawn out of the water but he resisted, insisting that Casey be looked after first.  Shawn held onto the edge of the ice while he watched his friend be dragged from the water.  Then he felt the man’s strong hands take hold of him again and pull him free.  Seeing that Shawn was alert, the man shouted something at a woman standing on the shore, then bent over Casey.

Casey watched the scene from above with mild interest.  He could see his friend Shawn and his brother on the lake.  What were they doing there?  Didn’t they realize it was dangerous?  Shawn was shivering, and Casey noted the large hole nearby and realized that Shawn must have fallen through.  It was a good thing that that guy was there to help.  He tried to call to Shawn, but no sound came from his mouth.  “Why is that man not helping Shawn?” Casey wondered.  Then he noticed that the stranger was bent over another boy.  “Who is that?”  Casey drifted closer, and with a shock realized that the man was giving mouth-to-mouth to him.

Leo was sobbing.  Casey was dead, and Shawn had almost died trying to rescue him.  If he hadn’t insisted on tagging along, they wouldn’t be in this mess.  Casey was dead because of him.  “It’s all my fault!” Leo shouted at himself in his head.  Mom was going to kill him.   He felt someone lift him from the frozen surface.  It was the stranger’s wife.  She was holding him close and he sobbed into her shoulder.  Then he heard a sputter and an explosion of coughing.  He turned to look at the source of the noise, and saw Casey’s blue face slowly regaining a pinkish shade as his brother sucked in air.  “CASEY!” he shouted with immense relief.

Air.  He had air.  He could breathe.  He was cold as hell and his lungs burned, but he could breathe.  Casey shivered under the blanket as he was loaded into the ambulance next to Shawn.  Shawn sobbed in the crash cart next to him.  Casey reached across the gap and grabbed his friend’s hand as the paramedics shut the door and the vehicle began to move.

Shawn looked up when Casey took his hand and saw his friend’s mischievous crooked smile.  It told him everything was going to be all right.

The year is 2008, and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has been repealed. The following takes place at an unnamed Army installation:

Commander: Well Top, it’s official: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed yesterday. Now we’ve got to make sure that we make the new policy works.

1SG: That shouldn’t be a problem sir. After all, I fail to see how being gay can affect a Soldier’s performance.

Commander: That’s the way to think about it. I’ll leave it in your hands to ensure that our gay Soldiers are accomodated.

A week passes, and Private Jones comes up to the First Sergeant with an issue.

Private Jones: Top, I’ve got a problem.

1SG: What’s up Jones?

Private Jones: It’s my roommate, PFC Thompson.

1SG: So?

Private Jones: Well, he’s gay. He told me so.

1SG: We briefed you on the new policy. Gay Soldiers are no different from other Soldiers. PFC Thompson does just as good a job as you do.

Private Jones: Yes, but he keeps staring at me when I shower or change clothes and stuff. It’s really creeping me out.

1SG: I can see how that might bother you. I’ll have a talk with him.

Later that day, PFC Thompson reports to the First Sergeant’s office after being told by his squad leader to do so.

1SG: PFC Thompson, a problem has been brought to my attention.

PFC Thompson: What is it, Top?

1SG: Your roommate says that you’ve been staring at him while he’s changing and that it makes him uncomfortable.

PFC Thompson: No way would I do that, Top! He’s not even my type.

1SG: Fine. Just do me and your roommate a favor. When he undresses, make sure you look in another direction. Give his privacy rights a little break, okay?

PFC Thompson: No problem, Top.

The following Monday, the First Sergeant spots Private Jones and has a talk with him.

1SG: We’ve got a problem, Jones. Your NCOIC says this is the 2nd time you’ve been late for work this week. What’s going on?

Private Jones: I’m sorry Top, but I can’t sleep at night. Now, every time I even reach for my zipper, PFC Thompson stares at me and gives me a wolf-whistle. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m about ready to hit him.

1SG: No, don’t do that; you don’t need any more trouble. I’ll have another talk with him. Just make sure you don’t touch him.

Private Jones: (glumly) Roger that, Top.

Once again, the First Sergeant summons PFC Thompson to his office.

1SG: Thompson, your roommate says that you’ve been staring and whistling at him. That’s sexual harrassment, and we won’t tolerate it. Do you understand me?

PFC Thompson: I haven’t been looking or whistling! He’s just lying because he’s a homophobe! Most people in the military don’t like us, and they’ll lie in a heartbeat!

1SG: Look, you’re not the only one that I’m having a problem with in implementing this policy. How about if I move you into your own room?

PFC Thompson: That’d be great, Top!

Two weeks go by and the commander walks into the First Sergeant’s office.

Commander: First Sergeant, we’ve just received an IG complaint. It claims that you’ve given all the homosexuals in the company a private room?

1SG: Yes, sir. There were some serious problems developing between them and their straight roommates. I thought it best to get them split up before someone got hurt.

Commander: I understand, but we can’t give them special privileges. We don’t have enough space to give everyone a single room, and you can’t single out the homosexuals as getting a benefit that isn’t available to the others. Now, fix it!

1SG: Yes sir.

Another week passes, and a Soldier comes up to the First Sergeant with a request.

SPC Kenney: PFC Baker is my girlfriend.

1SG: That’s nice, Kenney. What do you need?

SPC Kenney: Well Top, she wants to be my roommate.

1SG: (spitting out his coffee) You know we can’t room a male and female together in the barracks.

SPC Kenney: Why not? You roomed PFC Thompson and Private Eckers together.

1SG: So?

SPC Kenney: Come on, Top! Everyone knows they’re going out together. If Thompson gets to room with his boyfriend, how come I can’t room with my girlfriend?

1SG: Well…..I guess that makes sense. Okay, I’ll approve it.

Another couple of weeks pass before the commander comes storming back into the First Sergeant’s office, his face red as a beet with fury.

Commander: What in the hell are you doing, First Sergeant?

1SG: Sir?

Commander: The battalion commander has just received a slew of Congressional Complaints about you from outraged parents! It appears as if you are allowing their young sons and daughters to shack up in my barracks. Is that true?

1SG: Well, yes sir… but…

Commander: (slamming his fists on the First Sergeant’s desk) No buts!!!!!!! Not in my company!!!!! People don’t shack up in the barracks!! Is that clear???

1SG: Yes sir.

Commander: Fix this. NOW!

After the commander storms out, the First Sergeant starts to think about the situation.

1SG: How in the world am I going to fix this? (five minutes later): I know! I’ll room gay Soldiers with female heterosexuals, and lesbians with male heterosexuals!

The following week, the commander calls the First Sergeant into his office and has him report.

Commander: First Sergeant, what in the blazes is going on in my company?

1SG: Sir?

Commander: Every single male in the barracks now claims he’s gay, and wants to move in with a straight female!

1SG: Well, sir, I guess the studies were wrong. Maybe it is possible for one to change his sexual orientation!

Apparently, ridiculous tort claims are not a phenomenon unique to the United States.

Smoker sued for lighting up in her garden

AKARP, Sweden, March 9 (UPI) — A Swedish woman has been sued for smoking in her own garden.
Her neighbor in Akarp in southern Sweden, a lawyer, demands 15,000 kroner ($2,000) in damages for her previous smoking plus another 2,000 kroner ($280) every time she lights up in the future, The Local reported. She has received a district court summons to respond to his complaint.
Read the entire article:  Click here
© Copyright 2007 United Press International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

I Just Came Back (From a War) — Darryl Worley

The first thing I did when that plane finally landed was kiss the ground.
The next thing I did was to go find my friends down at the old hangout.

Drank some beer and talked a lot about old times.
But when the booze finally hit Billy Joe Grimes,
He said I don’t know what it is, but you seem different to me.

I said I just came back from a place where they hated me
and everything I stand for.
A land where our brothers are dying for others who don’t even care anymore.
If I’m not exactly the same good old boy that you ran around with before
I just came back from a war

The very next morning I took a walk through the neighborhood.
I thought it’s been so long since I’ve been in a place where everything is good.
People laughing and children were playing.
And as I watched em I found myself praying,
Lord keep em safe here at home in the land of the free.

Cuz I just came back from a place where they hated me,
and everything I stand for
A land where our brothers are dying for others who don’t even care anymore.
If I’m not the same little freckle-faced boy
That grew up in that house next door,
I just came back from a war.

I hope you cherish this sweet way of life.
And I hope you know it comes with a price.

I just came back from a place where they hated me,
and everything I stand for.
A land where our brothers are dying for others who don’t even care anymore.
Chances are I never will be the same…
I really don’t know anymore…
I just came back from a war.

I just came back from a war.

At 0100 CET, Project: Unsilence will officially launch with the posting of a press release on this site.

This new site has been under development for a month, with me devoting every spare minute I have to working on it. I’m quite pleased with how it’s turned out, and I expect that it’ll become quite significant. As I’ve already stated, this will be a community website for LGBT Service Members where they can voice their opinions on an infinite number of subjects. How exactly it will accomplish this will remain undisclosed until the press release is posted.

A few lucky people have already seen the site, so I ask them not to say anything about it yet. Once the site is launched, I ask that if you maintain a blog or a website, to please link to the press release and the new website. Spread the word! If you have access to AKO, NKO, or the Air Force Portal and you’re not subject to DADT, then please post the link the new site in the forums on those services so that LGBT Service Members will know about it.

Help me make this a major site and contribute to repealing 10 USC 654.

I feel I must apologize to you guys. I really did not want to require registration to post comments, but the site has been getting hit hard by spammers over the past couple of months. The Akismet plugin catches the vast majority of spam comments (I’ve got 293 in my Akismet queue already, after having cleared it yesterday), but many do manage to slip past it and into moderation.

Fortunately none have made it past moderation, but the fact that 112 notifications have made it into my email inbox today (that’s average) tells me that I need to take it a step further to protect the site from spammers. Therefore, in order to comment, you must now have a registered username. I’m going to look into implementing OpenID on the site so you don’t have to register here if you’ve already registered an OpenID username. This policy is effective immediately.

This video by Kenny Chesney is too powerful for words to express. Download it and watch: Who You’d Be Today (iTunes and iTunes Store account required)

Jack Army writes:

While folks were thinking hard about the implications of Saddam’s verdict, this little Kurdish boy was trying to poke me in the eye!

Read more… (Jack Army)

A Brazilian woman is claiming that her cat gave birth to two kittens that are part canine. Click here to see a photo of the cat and the kittens. I say this is either a hoax or just a freak mutation in the kittens which make them appear to be part canine. What do you think? Read more… (Daily Mail)